LEAVING LAS VEGAS

So I lost $120 Wednesday night when I called someone's all in preflop with my suited A-8 in a 2-4 no-limit game -- he barely had me covered. I stuck around a while for scouting and conversation -- then I drove away. When I was driving away, some guy outside having a smoke called my car unstylish.
"Unstylish" was the word.
That was low. But stylishly low. After thinking about it, it's hard for me to imagine a sharper insult. Then I started wondering about the notion of stylishness -- as it applies to leaving poker -- and the hierarchy involved. Here are nine ways to leave poker -- in ascending order of style:
WALKING
And probably walking home early. Making an appearance at poker without mechanized transportation away from it -- that's only stylish for whores, transients, and the Divine.
HORSE
You should never fear a man who leaves a poker game on horseback. Prima facie, it seems stylish, but unless the game is held in a roadless wilderness, he's likely just a poser.
TASTELESS SPORTS-COUPE
No explaining needed.
4-DOOR ECONO CAR
That's how I usually leave. Nothing special, but good enough for me.
TASTEFUL SPORTS-COUPE
Kaufman-aggressive is my chosen style, as I've said before, and I've only met one other guy who plays a more refined Kaufman-aggressive game than I do. I took a few bucks from him in a limit game, but when he left in a shiny black Miata convertible, it felt like he was the one who went out ahead.
SEDAN (mercury, buick, etc.)
He folds his A-8. His style is superior to that of any sports-coupe driver, and if you have to wonder why, then you probably aren't reading this.
HORSE-DRAWN CARRIAGE
It's natural to wonder why this method is more stylish than leaving on horseback. It's because there are several horses involved, and a waiting coachman. Ironically, I think the stylishness would increase if the horses and reigns were different colors -- horses and reigns off-suit -- it's tough to explain why.
RAT-DRAWN CARRIAGE
When a rat-drawn carriage pulls up to transport your opponent away from the poker room, it's a good bet that he's taken most of your money. And since being animal-friendly is stylish in contemporary culture, burdening beasts of burden and horse-drawn carriages are a bit gauche -- especially considering the increased awareness of horse abuse after the Eight Bells death. We wouldn't cry if mice die.
TAXICAB
This is the most stylish way to leave poker. Stu Ungar did it always. Leaving a poker room in a cab shows planning. More importantly, it shows that he has left with money -- and with the luxury of not having to drive. No combination of stylishness is more potent than planning, money, and luxury. Leaving by taxi still maintains the mysterious air of one who leaves by rat-drawn carriage -- but with added understatement and subtlety.