POKER PLAYERS BY THE DRINKS

We're all looking for tells -- here's a strategy that I use: You can tell a lot about a person's poker by the drink in front him or her -- I've listed seven types of players -- based on the drinks -- in increasing order of ability (decreasing order of fishiness.)
BOTTLED WATER
So your opponent has ordered bottled water. His plan is probably to show the world that he has arrived for serious poker, and that nothing can interfere with that. Just watch -- he probably won't smile or talk at all. But his poker is probably lame. He doesn't push much at all, even when the situation calls for it -- you can bet him off most hands. None of this applies if the water was unordered, taken from his own bag -- see below.
IMPORT BEER THAT YOU'VE NEVER HEARD OF
Be careful, though -- there is a small chance that he actually likes the Korean nutmeg kyonga-bishu, and not just drinking it as a poser. That's probably the case if you see him have two or three of them.
SOFT DRINK
Maybe he's just thirsty -- you can't read much into it. You may have to actually watch him play cards to get a feel for his game.
ANYTHING BROUGHT IN HIS BAG
The fact that he has a bag shows planning and preparation for the event. He also plans to be at the table for more than a little while. If the player brings the bag to a bar or casino, and drinks something out of it, move him up two levels, because that shows not only planning, but calculated risk-taking skills and the gumption to make his own rules -- he'll usually set the betting tempo in the few hands he plays.
STRAIGHT WHISKEY
Beware -- this man has come for your money. He is a no-nonsense, right-to-the-point player who goes directly after what he wants.
MILK
Any man who drinks milk at the poker table must be feared. I do it myself a lot. The first time I saw someone drink milk during poker was at Bally's in Vegas about three years ago. He was about 50 or 55, and was doing very well -- we took a break for lunch and ate together and talked about the hands -- he remembered every hand for the previous two hours -- completely. And we talked about New Orleans. And he was pleasant -- and he genuinely wished me well in the afternoon session. Milk was his drink of choice. Whole milk.
BRANDY
This player is just like the straight whiskey guy -- with the added advantage of not getting drunk as fast.