"ANY MAN DRINKING MILK AT THE POKER TABLE MUST BE FEARED."

Monday, June 1, 2009

THE ELECTRIC KOOL-AID POKER TEST

When I walked into the poker-room, the first thing I noticed was an aquarium as the south wall -- not an aquarium by the south wall -- but a 20' X 12' X 2' aquarium built as the south wall -- full of water and pretty coral and sand on the bottom -- with just a lone, exotic thing swimming around slowly -- grinning, I swear -- and colored like some pipe-hitting abstract expressionist painter had gone marine.
"Swell fish," I said.
I had never been there before. Good poker players at this 1-2 no-limit game -- all of them -- and I had the good luck to catch a couple of flushes on the first two hands, doubling my stack -- then coasting for an hour-and-a-half before --
I pick up jacks on the button. Everyone lumps in, and I raise to $25, and I get two callers. The flop come 8-7-5 rainbow, and it checks around to me. I'm all in for $88 more, and after about a minute of -- I don't know -- thought, maybe -- the player on my right calls with 9-7. He rivers a 6 for a straight.
"Thanks, her name's Beatrice," the aquarium guy said.
"She doesn't have any friends?" I ask.
"No. She attacks and eats up anything else I try to put in there. I've quit trying."

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